Chapter 1: A New Definition of Love

When I was younger, I had always dreamed of the day I would get married. I wouldn't dream about the wedding itself in the way that most girls would fantasize--but I dreamed of the concept of marriage. To me, marriage was more about partnership and getting through life as a team than it was about Love. Marriage to me was also a means to have a family, whether that means a family just between the two of us, or the both of us plus a couple tiny humans. But it was never about Love itself.  Love is not about feeling not lonely. Love is so much more than marriage between two people. And marriage is so much more than exchanging vows between two sexually consenting adults for life. Love is this action of extreme care, concern, and interest for another person.

I always thought I never really got to witness the romantic love that I would see in films and television, in real life, so I never really understood the concept of marriage for love. So I thought, perhaps Love doesn't exist for everyone. Then I witnessed Love through my family and friends. I witnessed my aunt who, most people would say 'never found love again', after my jackass uncle left her for another woman. But when I look at the immense amount of care and effort she has put into raising her children, my wonderful cousins, all on her own--I saw that she already had found this love. It wasn't in the form of another man, but in the form of her children. In another instance, I witnessed love on an entirely different level. The love for work. Never have I met someone so passionate for their work, than my coworker who never married or had children but spent the majority of her adulthood committed to her craft and made it her passion for life. She would rather fond over work than spend an evening in the arms of another who didn't love her back or greater in the same way that she loved her work.

With technology and advanced medical procedures the way they are now, starting a family no longer requires going through the traditional route of marriage. The past week, I've come to embrace the fact that I could live without being married and yet still have that chance to become a mother to some amazing children. Or I could still find Love in another way. I brought this thought up with my mother who surprisingly fully supported my plan. She, who married out of necessity and survival, had always wanted me to find Love and never settle for anything less. And so the rest of the week followed and I continued to remind myself, "love yourself."